Shadows
by Gabrielle Day
Summary: Marius deals with his past, fights to live in his present, and looks towards his future.


Title: Shadows

Rating: T+

Disclaimer: The characters and events of Les Miserables do not belong to me. In fact, not much of anything belongs to me…

Author's Notes: I tried to keep this as in cannon as possible, but I'm not sure how the book ends, and I mixed in some of the events from the musical. However, there's nothing massively derisive, I promise. I played around with the format a little by mixing poetry in with the prose, so let me know if that works or not. Anything between /…/ is Marius' thoughts. Constructive criticism and other reviews are always appreciated! Enjoy!

Shadows

_In the shadows of my mind_

_I walk this path a thousand times _

The air surrounding him was thick and smelled like smoke, gunpowder, and death. It pressed against him on all sides making it hard for him to breathe and it stung his eyes making it hard for him to see. But Marius knew the way by heart, each painful step etched in his memory. He walked along the silent streets, not even his footfalls made a sound on the cobblestones. Marius did not glance around, did not wonder where the children or the whores and their customers had gone. He did not look when he passed a café, dark and empty of students whispering in the corners. He knew he was alone, and the feeling that haunted eyes were watching him in the quiet was an illusion.

_Beloved voices no longer near_

_I seek the voices no one hears _

Marius quickened his pace and his breathing became faster. He wanted to stop, wanted to turn and leave this place, but he could not. He wanted to scream, wanted to cry, wanted…wanted there to be sunlight. He would only find his sunlight if he continued on, he knew that, too. He was running now, fear and agony gnawing at his insides. Marius knew he was close and he pushed himself harder. The buildings on both sides of him stretched to the sky and all he could see was gray and dirty.

Until he reached the barricade.

_Red and black, hope that is gone_

_Black and red, tomorrow is done_

Sunlight, Marius thought, he finally found his sunlight. Everything within his sight now was soaked with blood. It smelled bitter and coppery; and after taking several deep breaths he could taste it. He dragged his eyes from the barricade itself and finally looked around him to the crimson colored streets. The blood was dark and thick like ink /_Combeferre/ _where it had pooled and places; blood was wet and deep like wine /_Grantaire/ _where it hadn't begun to dry yet; blood was light and rose-pink /_Jehan/ _where it had smeared; blood was bright and fresh /_Gavroche/ _where it had not had time to age.

But there was only one body.

_In the darkness, still of night_

_You were there, shining bright _

He was just as Marius remembered him to be. His was body over the barricade, one last attempt to keep the enemy out, to keep their stand, a foothold to help the people…to help the people rise. No one would ever rise from this place, now. Marius knelt by him and leaned forward until his own forehead touched the shoulder of the still man. Red covered him, too, but not blood. There was never blood on him anywhere, never on his pale skin, never matted the golden hair, never blurred the blue eyes that he would never see again.

_/Enjolras/ _

_Your passion lit the pathways _

_Lead us to fight for better days _

Marius laid down next to his fallen leader, his comrade, his friend. He rested his head against Enjolras' chest, no hope left in him to feel any movement even in this place. His fingers curled into Enjolras' shirt but no tears came, no sobs shook his shoulders. Marius was resigned to this. He shut his eyes against the shadows and knew this would never change. /_If only…/ _

_In the shadows of this time_

_Your heart no longer beats with mine_

_/Your heart…/ _

_thump _

Marius tried to open his eyes and found that he couldn't. He tried to breathe and found that he couldn't. Panic rose in his throat and he tried to fight against the blackness and the bloodiness and sound of…the impossible sound of…

(_thump)_

_(thump) _

_(thump)_

_/Enjolras! Enjolras! **Enjolras/ **_

The scream in his mind faded before it made it to his voice as he shot up in bed. He let out a ragged breath and ran a hand through his dark hair. He reached out until his hand brushed against the smooth, warm skin of his wife and inhaled deeply, catching the soft scent of her. Marius let his fingers linger, just feeling her breathe. He smiled wearily, and ran his fingers through her curls that splayed against the sheets and pillowcase.

Cosette stirred and he shushed her softly, settling back in next to her and holding her closely. He kissed her neck before resting his head against the pillow. The last vestiges of his dream –his past- drifted away like leftover smoke. He shivered once and made a silent prayer for no more red colored nightmares.

Before he shut his eyes, he let his gaze wander past his wife's cream colored skin and the expanse of ivory hued sheets to the wicker bassinet that sheltered his baby son. He smiled again, more heartened by the sight of the tiny fingers that clutched at his blanket and the peaceful face, lost in sleep.

/_Sweet dreams, Enjolras./_


End file.
